Thanksgiving Traditions

nickbennettusa:

With our economy in the tubes I can understand how celebrating Christmas for two and a half months can be a positive thing. With everyone buying gifts, making travel arrangements and racking up electric bills running Christmas lights 24 hours a day it stimulates the economy.

However, the law of probability states that the longer amount of time we allow something to continue the better the chances are that some soccer mom will kill another hapless parent over something like a Tickle Me Elmo.

It used to be that the more violent and stressful Christmas traditions were reserved for December and I was able to enjoy the relaxed Thanksgiving tradition of killing animals, watching football and eating until I feel sick.

And that is what Thanksgiving is all about: traditions. Which must be the reason for it traditionally being the heaviest drinking holiday of the year. A celebration of patriotic joy and togetherness that rivals the 4th of July with an 80% less chance of blowing your fingers off with something explosive.

Thanksgiving starts every year for my family with the Thanksgiving shoot at Spring Farm in Sag Harbor. After three hours of sleep, my brother and I wake up and immediately get yelled at by our mother because we aren’t dressed right. That is a family tradition we experience every holiday.

Breakfast at our uncles is hearty; steak, eggs, potatoes, hash browns, muffins, etc. After breakfast we head over to the Farm for coffee and show off how much plaid we’re all wearing.

I see more plaid and camouflage in these few hours than I do all year long. It was like watching a live action Orvis catalogue. Or maybe Cabel’s. Some even have camouflaged guns, which seems entirely pointless to me. If an animal can see your gun then you should probably have already fired it.

The people over at Spring Farm have come under fire recently from animal rights hippies, and the likes, because they have a problem with people shooting ducks out of the air. “I’m a lover, not a fighter” or “Guns kill” and all those other saying sissies say to justify being a sissy, which I am. Have you ever shot a gun before? It hurts and it is loud. Plus, 12-gauges have a kickback like a mule and I bruise easily.

My uncles, bless their hearts, don’t make fun of me too much for not shooting. My brother, on the other hand, lays into me all day and calls me adopted. Sure I don’t hunt or fish or eat seafood or build things and am scrawny and have red hear, unlike both sides of my family, but usually by this point am too hungry to care.

Dinner starts at four in the afternoon with light snacks (like an entire bowl of shrimp, chips, cheese and bread) and doesn’t end until ten, when everyone has eaten their entire weight in turkey and potatoes.

Despite how amazing the holiday is, this year I have been hearing a lot of nasty Thanksgiving propaganda. For instance, I have read a few articles recently mentioning the dangers of stuffing and how it is more susceptible to food dwelling bacteria than the rest of the bird. And true, something to worry about this holiday dinner is the threat of improperly cooked food, but for anyone who has ever had stuffing can attest, it’s worth the risk.

Eating copious amounts of meat until I fall into a meat induced coma, making fun of friends and tree huggers and spending quality time with family. That is what this holiday means to me.

And that part about the drinking. Definitely the drinking.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

sonowyouknow:

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davidcho:

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I’m going to tell you right now you should just go ahead and reblog this guy without even watching it; just like or reblog it and get it over with, because this might be one of the greatest out there.

All I’m saying is - this video:other videos on the internet::Michael Jackson:other musicians in the world